vi is so fucking fascinating to me, I am studying her like a bug in a jar
she was a CHILD putting on her father’s gauntlets in spite of the fear gathered in her little body, in spite of just witnessing someone she’s known all her life die in a HORRIFIC way (benzo), still she rises, still she says I HAVE TO DO THIS still she takes on men three times her size and fucks them up so bad that silco has to send his shimmered up fucked up monster to try to stop her and STILL she persists, indifferent to the worst happening because she’s survived the worst already. furious and unstoppable and determined to do whatever she has to survive and ensure those she loves survive, no matter the cost.
vi under all that debris, bruised, bleeding, screaming, watching her family die, staring at the monkey head in shock and crying because this can’t be happening, they were so close…
sobbing in pain until her father saves her just to watch helpless as he dies protecting her. they were so SO CLOSE to surviving, so close to escaping and everything gets ripped away in a second
vi trapped in that prison cell for years and years on end with the ghosts of her family and her guilt for company, drowning in guilt, wondering if her sister’s still alive, no doubt thinking about how she LET her slip right through her fingers
the last thing vander said to her was “take care of powder”
she’s let the man who’s her FATHER and loves more than anything down.
“whatever happens is on you” / “protect the family” / “take care of powder” …. but she can’t, not anymore, she’s fucked it up and let everyone down (re “I should have been there for you, for everyone”) all she can do is sit in that shitty prison cell, on that freezing floor, hungry, bloody, counting the hours until she can somehow rescue powder
Vi is piercings and tats that no doubt got infected, she’s a child becoming a woman too fast, she is a danger-zone high-risk disaster area and won’t back down, won’t give up.
Vi is soft!! self-sacrificing, protective, supportive. (“You wanna talk about today?”, “We’ve all had bad days, but we learn, and we stick together”) brave, SMART, witty. she’s got a tongue sharp as her fists and a barbed, delicious sense of humour. she gives people nicknames (cupcake, pow pow, pretty boy) and fights with everything that she’s got to protect what she loves!!!! she is her father’s daughter!!!
she is idealistic and expects the world to see her reason, look at things through her eyes and wanna make a change ( “This is how things are, how they’ve always been. I was so stupid to think it could change. / "oil and water that’s all there is”)
and yes! vi is not flawless. she’s obsessive (re sevika. to her eyes she is the last thing standing between her and silco/getting to silco and saving jinx) and complicated, morally ambivalent because she makes mistakes, flies off the handle like a comet crashing through everything in her way, makes reckless choices because she has to. she is selfish when it comes to jinx and would do anything to keep her safe.
also
look at the way she hugs the people she cares about!!!
i thought i had pmdd and i prob still do and yet long after my period i still get overwhelmed with extremely negative feelings and thoughts and i know im being crazy and its rly harmful but i also cant. stop
i hate moving but i Need to be alone i hate having to interact with ppl against my will i alrdy have to do that shit enough at work
i wish i could just. mentally and emotionally be normal
it’s kind of crazy climate change has occurred at such a remarkable pace that I and everyone else around my age can remember a completely different climate in our childhoods. I truly watched winter gradually disappear in my life.
“You’re too young to remember this, but there used to be so many insects outside that you would have to clean them off the windshield after a long car ride” is the kind of sentence that would have been in a cheesy scifi short story earlier in my life, perhaps submitted to a literary magazine and accepted to show support for its environmentalist message - now it’s something I’ve said in earnest.
I think the worst thing about this AI craze is that it will make a new generation very stupid. Like yeah learning to code is a skill but if you don’t have to learn art or writing principles anymore you realize how damaging that is for a whole generation of kids right? You already hear about people forging essays and shit with AI, even science lit using AI images instead of actual correct studies.
My fear is that this goes hand in hand with the fascism coming out of the woodwork lately. The censoring of the internet, of media, etc. People are deliberately trying to keep you stupid and unable to think for yourself.
